Tuesday, 1 April 2014

You have to hit the bottom before you can return to the surface

I've been feeling totally despondent recently, and as though I am completely incapable of finishing this degree. Worryingly I think I was also disengaging with the entire process, not quitting, just letting go.

The only thing that has kept me from giving up is knowing that I can't do that now, because I can't let everyone down - family, friends and most of all my wonderful flowery friends. Even more pressure!

Every Monday I force myself to go in to Uni and am so relieved that I have. I do always feel better for going in, and it stops me from getting even more behind . . . until yesterday when even the cat joined in on my path of self destruction.

An emergency trip to the vet, 2 jabs (the cat, not me) and £54 later he seems to be perking up so do I.

I had a brilliant chat with an old friend (haven't spoken to any non-degree person for a while) who reassured me that the way I'm feeling is totally normal at this stage of proceedings. It was really helpful and thankfully I now feel reinvigorated and am sitting at my desk raring to go.

I have a list, I have rewards planned for completing certain tasks and thankfully I have more than 14 hours to save the Earth, well, get stuff done for the pin up.

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